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September 3, 2018

"Untitled"- a celebration of change on the horizon and the joy I feel because of it


My body and mind has been released


Now I can say I’ve been set free

Free in Him is free indeed

And that is all I really need


I have stepped out of my past

That had me locked down tight

Where I was suffocating 


Suffocating in my own skin

Now that skin has been sloughed away and I am like a babe


All things new 

I see the wonderment in life

I am in awe of everything


Each step I take amazes me like it is my very first


Each morning that I awake

Eat, shower, dress, and step out the door and it is not a chore, I know that I am blessed


With every less pill I have to swallow to be in community with life 

With each empty thought that would have once been occupied by wanting to harm myself or die

I know I have overcome


At the end of the day when I plug in my salt lamp, turn on my diffuser, and say a prayer instead of tranquilizing myself, I acknowledge my miracle


No nightmares, or daymares, no fears or freezing, no sensations or internal screaming 

My God!


The world told me I would forever be a nasty cycle of ups and downs and in and out of one place or another 


Always waiting for the next door to slam shut

The next set of shoelaces or hoodie strings to be lost in the abyss 

Another hold, fear of commitment

But God!


My anthem of awe has just begun

And I’ll leave you with another one (or two, or three)

But God!

But God!

But God!


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