I’m the Boss

My dear friend told me during a conversation in the middle of the night, "you're the boss, you get to decide"... that empowered me a lot and a stream of words began to flow from my fingertips and later out of mouth... these are those words.

I’m the boss and I get to decide

unlike in the past when decisions were made for me on what yes meant and what no meant where my body was concerned

And by my body I mean my mind as well because the physical hurt I experienced was fleeting but my mind bled for years

My mind bled for years and my eyes shed tears when I thought back on the power I lost and the control I did not have

and fears welled up inside with thoughts of if it would happen again in the future because the little rhymes about the differences between boys and girls rang true even when the boys turned to men and the girls turned to women

Women surrounded by men who were taught that they were puppy dogs as boys and that that was okay have now grown up to be pit bulls and damn do they bite hard and bark loud and oh how I wish the catcalling would stop… I don’t want to be forced to smile

and if only that was the worst of it

but when my no means yes still in 2018 I feel there are bigger fish to fry than whether or not that strange man told me to smile

but we’ve got to start somewhere so let my yes mean yes and my no mean no

and I’ll smile on my own time and frown at you when I walk down the street as much as I want to